Dina:
The clock is ticking. This last 90 days has slipped away in a blink of an eye. And the Random Number Generator has not moved.
Sigh…
BUT…I have gained more in this past 90 days psychologically than I would have if those pounds had slipped off effortlessly. And this is really what this transformation was all about. Now, don’t get me wrong, if I had lost the 30 lbs that I had wanted to, I am sure my psychological health would have been pretty good, but would I have gained the knowledge that I have today? Probably not.
First and foremost, Kelly LaCasse is one of the most personable, funny, caring, crazy people I know. And it translates into her personal training. I have been hanging on to the thought that if we did not see remarkable results, I would be jeopardizing her credibility as a trainer…and I have hung onto that “guilt” for weeks. But I have come to realize and Kelly will agree, that the only person my progress reflects on…is me. Personal trainers can push you to exercise, to eat right and to track your progress…but at the end of the day, it is YOU that makes decisions that can affect your progress when the trainer is not around. Trainers cannot change your mind…YOU do. I can honestly say there has not been a time where we have met or talked or even emailed where I have not laughed to tears at some point in our many conversations. And even though our relationship will transition, she will (hopefully) remain one of my closest friends…
Towards the end, the wind got knocked out of my sails. For no other reason than the Random Number Generator was looming and I knew it wasn’t budging. I have encountered a good deal of struggle and strife in my 39 years, but this battle with my weight is probably the most draining and frustrating. And something happened over these last 3 weeks that made me even more distressed…I had become obsessed with my weight and food. It’s all I have thought about. This is not how you lose weight. It consumed me…much to the chagrin of my family. The key here is to be mindful…but not obsessed. To be present…but not consumed. To have fun…not think of this as a chore or a job.
And ugh…the number of excuses I came up with…thyroid, stomach, back…and while some were “legit”, there are always ways to maneuver around injury or illness. This part leaves me a little disgusted with myself. I have always thought of myself as a fighter, scrappy to the very end, but it seems as though the aches and pains got the best of me. It had nothing to do with age, or timing, or support…it had everything to do with ME. As a whole person. Making and keeping a commitment to myself.
Now the positives. I eat better. I am mindful of ingredients. I control my portions. I have a better understanding of MY psychological connection to food and how to control cravings. I found exercise that I absolutely love to do and feel crappy when I don’t do it. I know who is part of my support system. I set a huge goal for myself to participate in a 100 mile bike ride as part of a fundraiser for diabetes. The funny part of that goal is that the last time I have owned a bike it had a banana seat and tassles on the handlebars. The serious part of that goal is that I intend to pedal every mile. And I know, that when I get all the pieces to the puzzle to finally connect, I will reach my weight loss goal.
And while all of the above is super fantastic, there was one VITAL change that happened towards the end of this 90 days that will be instrumental to any future progress. When I look in the mirror (now, pay attention because this is huge) I actually like what I see. Because I no longer see that kid with the mouth full of braces and 80’s mullet. I see a mom, wife, sister, daughter, and friend aging gracefully and making changes to better my life. If you don’t like what you see, you will never move forward.
Thank you Kelly, for everything. The laughs, the tears, the advice, the BIG EYES, the swears, the stories, the inspiration, the toughness, and the love. You are an amazing person and I am thankful to call you my friend.
My last blog post (unless enough of you say “keep blogging”!!!) will be about my plan for the next 90 days. Training for the century ride. Nutrition. My business. My exercise plans. But I am hoping that “you” say that you still want to ride with me on this journey… ;)
"Nothing to it but to Do it!"
Kelly:
Dina is very wise and she is beginning to understand what the last 90 days has brought her, she should also understand that I will always be “here” when she’s “there or here”. I think we all need to know that support is extremely important, if these blogs over the last 90 days hasn’t proved that to all the readers, then there isn’t much more I can really say. I will say the first time I was able to read Dina’s blog post – this one- I had to go re-apply my damn eye-makeup!! Sure! One of the 3 or 4 times a month I get to wear it and had to go do it all over again. HAHA! Dina is very sweet to put so much thought into me in this post. Not necessary, but THANK YOU.
I mentioned just today that “I feel bad for Dina”, then thought, I shouldn’t. I was corrected when someone’s response was, “No, you feel bad because you want Dina to succeed.” That person was RIGHT. My vision of succeed just turned out different than expected 90 days ago. (note, I did not use past tense on purpose)
When we begin to really see our lives, our support, who we associate with, how we feel about others and how other “things” are prioritized you begin to succeed at your goals. No matter what they are. Never give yourself a ceiling. Always reach for YOU, there is no reason we can’t be our best everyday. Best = ?? You decide.
By the way, you make a wonderful point about having fun with your goal; it should never, ever, ever, ever be a chore.
S!&T ya, I want to keep blogging. Why the F#@k not? Is that the swearing you were talking about? Potty! J My offer for the bike/website offer still stands too by the way.
………….day 1a. Dina, throw away your scale!
(to be continued)
"If You Can Change Your Mind You CAN Change Your Body"
Kelly LaCasse
Fitsique Body & Mind
www.fitsiquebodyandmind.net
kellylacasse@verizon.net
Dina Wiroll
Feed Your Soul
www.feedyoursoulnow.com
dina@feedyoursoulnow.com
No comments:
Post a Comment