Day 56

Dina:

Changing your brain and your body is an emotional process. If anyone tells you differently, they are WRONG.

I am stuck. S.T.U.C.K. And it sucks. Kelly pointed out today that I have completely lost sight of who I want to become through this process. And she is absolutely right. My last blog post is proof of that. And if you have been around me for the past few days, it is a perceptible shift. You can go through the motions…eating cleanly, exercising…but if you don’t know where you want to be at the end of 90 days (or however long your journey will take) you will never get there.

So what do I want to become at the end of the 90 days? REALISTICALLY??

A more confident, aware and happy individual.

Notice, I did not attach a number to my emotional well-being. You shouldn’t. I won’t. But I know my confidence will rise when I start seeing results. I will feel happier when I see and feel physical and emotional changes. Awareness will come when I begin to slow down the freight train that runs constantly in my head. I do not feel confident right now. I am not happy because I have not seen the results I was expecting. I am becoming more obsessed and less aware. Sliding down a very slippery slope. And this is where the process STOPS for some people. This is where they make the decision to not keep going because ‘they have worked so hard” and “see so little”. Buck up little camper…you ain’t done shit.

But today, I am going to do my very best to make sure that ends.  How? Good question.

By making my first step. And tomorrow following up with the next step. And continuing to take one step after another until it works. I realize that 54 days ago was supposed to be my first step…but apparently it was not. And you know what was great? During our meeting today, Kelly reminded me that I have 30+ days to go. And those are the days that matter…not the 54 days before today (although the work we have done has brought us to this point and cannot be discounted).

I am working on a clear vision of what I want to see at the end of the next 30 days. I may share that vision soon but right now, I’d like to keep it as a work in progress for a few more days. It is something that Kelly gave to me as my home work…and I will most definitely comply. I am also creating a “vision board” so I can put my goals in front of me. A vision board is a tool used to help clarify, concentrate and maintain focus on a specific life goal. Literally, a vision board is any sort of board on which you display images that represent whatever you want to be, do or have in your life. I won’t be “Frankenstein”-ing pictures of nice arms or skinny thighs on my vision board because the law of attraction does not take the place of hard work and exercise. Instead it will be broader picture images of who or what I want to become when we are done….

So I decided to go back and read the entire blog and pull out some questions I asked during the process. And answer them. Because if I just keep asking questions and never find my own answers, I will never progress.

Day 2-5: So, how do I feel emotionally just under a week in?

There was no way after only a week I could have even thought about the emotional involvement I would have in the process. Today I cried. Big, stressed out, tired tears…and it felt great. And right after I let the tears flow, Kelly and I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. And its this emotional upheaval that makes me realize that I am finally “all in”. Today, I let it all go…no holding back, no excuses, no glory. ALL IN.

Day 26: How do I get my body to listen to my brain? And how do I get my heart to see a more realistic vision? And once I get all 3 in sync, where do I go from there?

Ummm…hello??? Your brain tells your body what to do. Your body just won’t decide one day not to listen – it’s the same brain telling it to do something coming in and saying not to do something! The only way your body will refuse to do what you want it to is if you have a physical limitation. So I am realizing the “disconnect” is not brain to body…it’s brain to, well, BRAIN!!! And my heart? Well, it just has to buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Day 33: “Dreaming Thin” How exhausting, time consuming, and downright crazy is that kind of behavior? Right. So why do WE ALL do it at one time or another?

Still dreaming thin. I still envision unzipping the fat suit and stepping out of it looking like a Playboy Playmate. WTF, right? But dreaming is just that….dreaming. I need to just DO. Yoga has been helping me quiet and center myself and focus more on life goals rather than my “fat suit”. How fantastic is that? Quiet your mind, get out of your own fucking head and just do.

Time to hold on friends…

And Kelly…I’m here and I’m here. But I AM going to get THERE.

 "Nothing to it but to Do it!"

Kelly:

Is there really anything for me to say?  Yes, but I will not overshadow Dina’s day; a lot happened at the studio today.

Quickly… I posted a comment on fb about 3.5 wks ago.  I remember it clearly, I was in NY for my husband’s birthday and I had a massive flutter of emotion of everything that was “happening over the last few weeks” and for some reason the words worked.  They were:

“I’m here, you’re there.  When you’re ready to be here; I’m there.”

This was my way of letting everyone around me know that…. I’m here, you’re there and when you’re ready to be here; I’m there……yes, I repeated it on purpose.  You decide what it means.  A friend in Utah reposted and fell in love with the comment.  Some may hate it, some may not get it, when you’re ready, well…..

Last thing:  Rules.  I just made a rule; the words “fat” “suit” can no longer be used.  Whether they’re together or separate.  J  New word: Vision

…………looking forward to getting to know Dina’s vision…………I’m here.  One step from there to there to there to there to here to here to here to here.

Happy Visioning!! …and thanks for the hug today.

(Dina, are we still International on this blog? & we need to get into the T shirt business!)

"If You Can Change Your Mind You CAN Change Your Body"

Kelly LaCasse

Fitsique Body & Mind

www.fitsiquebodyandmind.net

kellylacasse@verizon.net

Dina Wiroll                                                

Feed Your Soul                                        

www.feedyoursoulnow.com                         

dina@feedyoursoulnow.com

Day 54

Dina:


I have been struggling the past few days. Maybe you can relate.


I struggled with food choices over the holidays. I didn’t do too terribly but I could have definitely made some better choices. Red velvet cookies are not a good choice. PERIOD.


I struggled with motivation. I worked my ASS off getting my home prepped for company, cooking for a small army, and making sure the kids were surprised and happy Christmas morning. Tonight I feel like I have nothing left.


I am struggling with our budget and finances. Going out on your own trying to start a business in this economy is difficult. Starting a business based upon people admitting they might need a little guidance with their nutrition choices is just downright crazy. But I feel so strongly about helping people get healthy that I will continue this pursuit.


I am struggling with back pain…today. I have been feeling fantastic the past few weeks but today I feel my injury rearing its ugly head. Patience, stretching, exercise and more patience is required.


I am struggling with the random number generator. 54 days. Minimal movement. Adjustments….and more patience and COMMITMENT are required. (Although this is pretty much all I think about lately…but thought doesn’t equal commitment, ACTION does.)


I struggle with the thought of buying another pair of size 12 jeans. I want an 8. Maybe I should buy the 8 and make them a motivational tool??? Crazy talk. Then again, I told Kelly that if I reached my goal weight, I was going to splurge on a $400 pair of Lucchese cowboy boots. Truth is, I struggle with spending $40 on myself, never mind $400. More crazy talk.


I am struggling with the year 2012. I turn 40 this year. Another number that I shouldn’t pay attention to, but I do. I am starting to see the lines on my faces, the gray hairs multiplying and my kids growing up right before my eyes. This weight loss journey and lifestyle change isn’t as easy as it was ten years ago…or even five years ago…but this just means I need to want it and work for it harder.


Lots of thoughts, some weighing me down tonight…and some are just thoughts. Complaints? Not really. Things I need to work on? Definitely. Struggles? Yeah, but I don’t think I said anything that you haven’t thought about too. No resolutions this year. I refuse to do that to myself. Instead, I am going to take this week and really think about my SOLUTION.


 "Nothing to it but to Do it!"


Kelly:


This may seem unbelievable to you…but I knew this (or close to this) was going to be Dina’s post.  I could sense it in every way.  I’m not surprised by her blog at all.    


For now, what I can offer for support is noting that nothing is crazy talk.  Especially when it comes to your goals!!!   Why does it have to be labeled “crazy”?  Why not just what you want for you.  Shoot, I want $400.00 boots too. I bet they’re mad hot! If you listen to what is going on around you, those boots will be yours.  Those size 8 jeans will be yours.  I do need to ask, if you buy the size 8, how will that motivate you?  Do you feel guilty for spending the money or do you sleep in the frigging things every night till they fit?


This post couldn’t have come at a better time.  I just had a conversation with my dad on Christmas morning regarding motivation.  This is my chance to let EVERYONE understand the word motivation and “HOW TO GET IT” as most people say….(it gave me a change to help my dad understand what the heck a “blog” is too – poor guy had NO idea!)


My last point is that “WE” need to really, truly, honestly, directly embrace our vision.  If you continue to see the negative, that will be your result.  Pick yourself up dammit and dust yourself off.  Today is here, let’s do it!! No such thing as a complaint here, glad you said it’s not “complaints”.

"If You Can Change Your Mind You CAN Change Your Body"

Kelly LaCasse

Fitsique Body & Mind

www.fitsiquebodyandmind.net

kellylacasse@verizon.net

Dina Wiroll                                                

Feed Your Soul                                        

www.feedyoursoulnow.com                         

dina@feedyoursoulnow.com

Twisted Picture...from Coach Kel

Twisted Picture

…..literally and figuratively….

Yes, the words are backward.  I actually wrote them backward so that people could read it when I show them.  The picture itself is cock-eyed. 

Wondering why I did it then?  I took myself out to lunch and struggled with what I wanted and where to go.  Hemmmmmed and haaawwwed…..I knew where I wanted to go, I knew where I shouldn’t go.  Oddly, the exact same place, but was just dying to watch the game and have BEER.  I was CRAVING a cobb salad, oh the yumminess! 

I walked in, almost too comfortable by myself, ordered my cobb salad and said, “I’d like an I.P.A. please.”  Then proceeded to order 4 more.  4 more!!  And here’s the kicker…I didn’t have salad dressing on my salad because I thought “geez..I really don’t need the calories”  I sssoooooo wanted the bleu cheese dressing too.

I have 7 wks left in my own personal challenge and as a (egh…hemmm) “punishment” to myself, I wrote BEER WINE on my belly to remind myself today, I’m not getting where I want to be by ordering 5 BEERs.

Think you got balls?  Think you’re daring?  Think you are reaching your goal?  Good for you!

Think you are not?  Think you are twisted?  Grab a marker people, grab a marker.  I’ve decided each time I have BEER or WINE I’m going to write that on myself and make sure that I show it to a minimum of 2 people.  Only you can embarrass you.  Remember, this journey is yours to choose.  How many more times do you think I want to write BEER WINE on my belly and then show it to 2 people?

Twisted?  Yup.  Literally and figuratively.

Day 46

Day 46

Dina:

One piece of advice. Pay attention to your nuts.

Kelly and I reviewed my food log for the week and noticed I am still having trouble with my fat intake. Now we all know there are good fats and bad fats but the Lose It! App does not distinguish. It just lets us know what our overall ratios are. So where were these pesky fats coming from?

I wasn’t paying attention to my nuts. Can you imagine?? ;) I would throw a 100 calorie pack of almonds into my yogurt. That’s 9 grams of fat! I was using peanut butter on my English muffins in the morning. 1 tablespoon of peanut butter has 8 grams of fat! (Also, using a vegetable oil based (buttery) spread on my English muffin was also around 7 grams of fat.) So when you are only allotted 20-30 or so grams of fats in a day…do you see where I am going with this?

Solution.  Apple butter. It has .1 gram of fat per tablespoon. FANTASTIC!!  Pistachios. ¼ cup has 7 grams of fat. Slightly lower but I will take what I can get. Kelly also ordered me some of the PB2 peanut butter product. I will let Kelly tell you more about that.

So…you need to pay attention to your nuts.

And just on a side note. Kelly and I walked through my food log together. She talked me through my entries to figure out where my fats were hiding. She didn’t criticize when we found them. She offered suggestions and changes. S-U-P-P-O-R-T.

"Nothing to it but to Do it!"

Kelly:

Dina, are we Yoga-ing this Friday?

I’m such a HUGE fan of the Lose It! App…also, they’re Boston-based! Yeah!  Boston Rocks!  I’m glad this App has come up in conversation.  I know one other person that started using it last week and it was an eye opener for them too.  They realized their carbs were out of line with their fitness goals.  I talked to a client today that mentioned they loaded it, “but just haven’t gotten around to using it”…I have a feeling next time I speak with her, she’ll tell me she started using the App. 

Do you need to count calories?  Not always, but having a good idea how many you’re eating is a smart idea.  Do you know how many calories of carbs vs. fats vs. protein you’re eating?  My guess is for the average person, no.  You should try it, MEGA learning lesson here.  You can eat 1500 calories a day, but it you don’t realize that 35% of those are from fat, well….

In Dina’s words…”PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR NUTS.” Or you’ll end up being nuts!  If you continue to guess what your intake is, you’ll continue down what could be the wrong path for you.  Not sure what that means for you?  I said it before, I’ll say it again… See me, I can help.

Ah..yes, PB2!  PB2 is dried peanut butter.  They use a process to squeeze out the oil and here are the nutrition facts:

Total fat 1.5 g 
Saturated fat 0 g 
Trans fat < 0.01 g
Cholesterol < 0.01 mg 
Sodium 94 mg  4%
Total carbohydrate 5 g 
Dietary fiber 2 g 
Sugars 1 g
Protein 5 g

Calories per serving 45

All you do is add 2 tbsp of water (or to your liking) and there’s your peanut butter.  So what is the catch?  None.  Here are the ingredients:

Peanuts

Salt

Sugar

I ordered Dina 2 regular and 2 chocolate.  The chocolate is yummo!!!  What’s in the chocolate to make it yummy?  Cocoa powder, real cocoa powder.

Want to know where the oils go from the pressing?  In a bottle and sold as Peanut Oil.  Same company, no waste.  I have recipes for using the PB2 as well, I will have to start sharing on my recipes page!! (get on it Kelly!!!)

So what the heck does all of this mean?  It really means you are what you eat.  It means there are always alternatives to “your favs”.  It means understand your body and what you’re doing to it for the right reasons.  It also means to stop reading magazines and thinking you should do exactly what they say; those magazines don’t know YOU.  Just because you hear or read that “nuts are good for you” doesn’t mean that eating nuts means your nutrition is better.  Too often, we grab what we heard is good for us with no explanation why and think “I’m doing everything I can….”  You might be doing too much or too little.  KNOW YOU.

Food is your fuel.  Why do some of us constantly fight with it?  You wouldn’t add sand to your gasoline tank would you?  For those of us that don’t fight with ourselves over our food choices – GOOD FOR YOU!  For those of us that do, really think about that statement.  You must have food or you die, right?  Why are we picking foods that could potentially kill us or making our nutrition worse?  Food is your fuel, you need it to live.  Live better.

No one is perfect, but we can all be better.  Be preventative not reactive.  Learning YOU now is proactive.

"If You Can Change Your Mind You CAN Change Your Body"

Kelly LaCasse

Fitsique Body & Mind

www.fitsiquebodyandmind.net

kellylacasse@verizon.net

Dina Wiroll                                                

Feed Your Soul                                        

www.feedyoursoulnow.com                         

dina@feedyoursoulnow.com

Day 45. Halfway.

Half. Way. 

Dina:

Kelly talks about listening to the universe and accepting the messages its sends to us every day. Today, I was struggling emotionally. The universe (and a very talented writer and fellow mom of a child with diabetes) spoke to me today via Facebook (of all places!) And I listened. And cried. Because she nailed it. Moira graciously allowed me to share her blog post for today. And her words surpass anything I could have typed today.

Thank you my friend.

http://despitediabetes.wordpress.com/2011/12/19/revisiting-an-old-theme-food-comfort-and-the-d-mom-or-dad-i-guess-too/

Day 40

Kelly:

Trainer Point of View:

We took Dina’s measurements:

Neck: 13.5

Shoulders: 42.5

Chest: 40.5

Bicep     L  12.5               R 12.25

Forearm:  L  10.5                R  11

Waist: 34

Hip:  41

Thigh:   L  22.75             R 23.75

Calves:   L 17.25              R 16.25

Dina’s body is definitely shifting.  My first suggestion is that Dina begins doing every exercise starting with her left side.  She’s lost approximately 4” overall.  We weighed Dina on the Random Number Generator.  If Dina wants to disclose that information, I will leave that up to her. 

Not sure what was happening in Dina’s day prior to TRX; there was a very tired (in her words) Dina that walked into the studio.  She got out a little frustration by telling me that I was “cocky” that morning.  I choose to call it confident, some might call it intimidating.  I thought I was just trying to “beat a tough crowd”.  However, good for Dina because within the next few minutes she was focused and had an amazing workout.  Her head was in the game, love that!  But, you know what? If I was cocky, screw!  I. Don’t. Care! 

There are many times that clients walk into the studio, or me into their home, and it’s almost like they have their tail between their legs/”tired”/busy/etc….  What is THAT?  What is that walk, what is that mood they bring?  (I have a feeling I know…) Rest assured, no one, I mean no one, has ever left like that.  If they did, they’d NEVER return or vice versa me leaving them.  Clients come to me for support and I feel like each client needs that/those individualized moment(s).  Everyone deserves support!!  Even if it’s a sentence that makes them feel at ease, then it’s a better day for them.

Dina and I chatted about support.  It’s a b I g G e R word than some realize.

If anyone is reading these blogs and think that any of this content is cliche` then you are reading this in the wrong context and you should consider reading a book called The Four Agreements.  I happen to have it on CD and I’ve listened to it at least a dozen times in the last 2 years.  Anyone that doesn’t know me personally, I’ve changed many, many things in my life in the last 2 years, so I’ve had no choice but to listen to this book on CD several times because each time I listen to it, I hear it differently.  It doesn’t matter where you are in life, you need support.  I don’t mean the typical definition of support, erase what you think about that word, go deeper.  Report and repeat that meaning back to yourself after you’ve really considering it long and hard.

Dina has months of work ahead of her and a vision of a consistent new lifestyle.  Lifestyle is how it needs to be seen every single day moving forward.  That is not happening right now.  She’ll get there with the right support.  If you want to show Dina that you are here for her and care about her new vision of herself, give her a “like” on her facebook post for this blog.  Don’t we all need a “like” every now and then or what’s wrong with everyday? 

Here’s what I’d like to suggest:

Just like we did with the Random Number Generator (scale), I want Dina to throw away the 7^th grade 25 year old photo.  To compare yourself or anyone or anything to 25 years ago is mentally, emotionally, or in this case even physically, not realistic. 

1986.

Something happened that year or around that time.  I don’t think it was pink eyeshadow.

On Day 1 I posted this and now I’m going to hold myself accountable:

    Review each day of nutrition up until that point

                Coach questions & answers

                Coach following week strategies

a.      Any days with hunger or not (we know we have a great Day 1 with this!)

b.      Any days tired or excitability & why

c.      Any days of inconsistency & how to avoid

d.      Planning following week’s schedule for home, exercise, shopping, studying, work..

e.      New meal plan

f.       Strategizing the increase of calories (this could be 1-3 wks away)

g.      Decreasing stress levels

h.      Review next session for weigh in and or measurements (this could be weeks out)

i.       Consistent positive reinforcement

j.       Listening

Day 1 vs. Dina

   0       -     1

Day 2 vs. Dina

    ?      -      ?

-We have not reviewed each day.  Dina told me she was following the:

55% carbs

20% fat

25% protein

We discovered today that she was not on par. I am helping her with that.  We had a great converstation!

-I have coached all Q & A

- We have not met each week(vacas, etc).  We are scheduled every Monday going forward.

- There has not been any days of excitability

- There have been too many days of being tired.  Dina is working on the “Why” of this.

Trainer Note: if you are not getting proper sleep, success is that much further away.  It’s Scientifically proven.  I’m not grabbing at straws here.

-Her calories went from approx 1300 to 1606 today.

-Dina has her stresses, but can work on identifying them better.  I have found that there is nothing I can do just yet aside from making her laugh her ass off and helping direct her with her exercise regimen.  She seems very happy with what we’ve suggested.  She is stressed somewhat about not getting enough cardio.  Cardio is not a diet program…you can cardio up all you like, it’s only going to get you so far.  (We can talk all about that in another post)

-I feel I’ve been a consistent reinforcement, maybe it’s not all positive, but it’s all real baby, no fake shit, no cucumber sandwich with tea over here. 

-What have I done that might not be right?  Answer: not meeting every week.  Although this has been a combined, eh—hemmm, effort, needs to be more consistent.  I made the promise and I plan on getting to work on my end. 

-What else can I do to support and help?  I can work on finding better questions to ask Dina.  I can find more direct questions.  I can help Dina find words about 1986 and relate them to her new lifestyle.  I will have Dina send me a weekly log from Lose It! via email.    Starting tomorrow Dina.  Thanks!!!!  Last and was hoping always least and although it’s against almost everything I stand for as a trainer, I may start weighing Dina every week.

I hope I just gave everyone that reads this big eyes and raised eyebrows.

"If You Can Change Your Mind You CAN Change Your Body"

Dina:

The Random Number Generator said 175. 2 lbs weight loss in 40+ days. Pfft…

However, I am quite pleased with losing 4 inches. It should be more, but I am happy with that progress. Notice, I did not say satisfied.

So what is the problem? As Kelly said, we adjusted my fat/carb/protein ratio and added calories. I agree to sending Kelly a weekly Lose It! Log. I am not drinking enough water. I am not getting enough sleep. My energy level is not where it should be. There are easy fixes to all 3…and I intend to initiate those fixes this week. Melatonin (liquid form), water (flavoring purchased) and start focusing my energy on the positives and eliminate the energy-sapping negatives I have in my life.

I am going to be honest here – some of the stresses in my life cannot be changed. I have a son with a chronic disease that requires daily attention. I have a husband with a high-pressure and sometimes dangerous job. We have decided to live on one income so I can be available for my children which can sometimes cause some financial stress. I am trying to launch my own business to generate income, keep my schedule flexible and help other people. Those are things I cannot change. But what I will always maintain about our life is that it is not any harder or any easier than yours. It’s just different. Sometimes those “differences” get the best of me mentally and can be exhausting. Sometimes it’s easier to say “I’m tired” instead of “I’m mentally drained and tapped”…either way, neither should be carried into the beginning of a workout.

Someone recently read the blog and sent me a text that said “Wow, she (Kelly) was really hard on you.” My reply was “She was???” Kelly and I have a fantastic, open and honest relationship. She is my friend, part of my support system, AND my trainer which is an interesting position to put her in. I WANT her to be honest with me about my progress, while laughing our asses off and providing support. Not all trainers take on all 3 roles and I am so very thankful that she does. Make no mistake, she is a personal trainer and training is her JOB. So if she is hard on me, I most definitely needed her to yank a knot in my ass and get me refocused and headed back down the right path. Which brings me to the topic of support. YOU cannot begin a journey like this without SUPPORT. In your home, at Weight Watchers, on Facebook…whatever is comfortable for you…but you HAVE to have support.

Things I have accomplished today:

I packed the photo away. In my basement, in the bottom of a Rubbermaid tub. And I am working on putting the image in that same tucked away place inside my mind.

I am working on tuning into my body more. To rest when I am tired. To pay attention to my “before sleep” routine and see how I can make changes to facilitate better, longer sleep.

I stopped beating myself up about “the number”.

I thanked the Universe for bringing my friend Kelly into my life. Her personal training is having further reaching effects than just a change in my body. If you ever have the pleasure of working with someone that can change your perspective or make you pay attention to the Universe a little bit more, be grateful.

And 2 things I want to address VERY specifically:

1. Cocky. Not a bad word. Confident would be been MUCH better. Although now that I think about it, I like CHEEKY even better! Just kidding..The room that morning was VERY low energy and Kel was just trying to get us up and motivated...

2. Did I read that right? Random Number Generator EVERY WEEK???????

"Nothing to it but to Do it!"

Kelly LaCasse

Fitsique Body & Mind

www.fitsiquebodyandmind.net

kellylacasse@verizon.net

Dina Wiroll                                                

Feed Your Soul                                        

www.feedyoursoulnow.com                         

dina@feedyoursoulnow.com